I don’t hate Mondays, until this week Monday’s were just another day of the week to me, a day that Keera had to get up for school, a day that Zaden and Emilee would like to go back to bed and nap. Now that I work in the afternoon/into the evening I don’t like going back to bed. I feel like if I do I end up losing out on the whole day, a whole day that I could be cleaning or doing laundry. Ha ha. Super homemaker… but seriously let’s be honest here I don’t want to be doing laundry, doing the dishes or cleaning anything before heading to work. I would rather be the lazy parent (yes go ahead and judge) that does it before bed then complains that I have to stay up at night, but we both know that I’m already up at night whether I have laundry, dishes or cleaning to do or not.
I don’t pretend to be one of those parents that’s perfect and has an immaculate home, decorated with all these crafts that I pull off Pintrest. Truth is being a stay at home mom was tough on me, always being with my kids was awesome. There is however a point when you need a break, you need to spend kid free time that was/is a rare opportunity.
Because of my own foolishness when I was younger I never got my learners, which as you know led me to not be able to drive. Who would have thunk it. (Finally I got my learners last January, and as of January 14th I will be able to go get my license.) Yes there is public transit, but hauling 3 kids on the bus is not fun at all, it takes longer to get where you are going and kids don’t have patience. Even when I don’t have my kids, commuting on the bus most of my away time is not exactly my idea of a relaxing good time. Not to mention depending on others for a ride to the doctors, work, etc is very frustrating.
Technically I’m not a full time stay at home mom anymore, I work 5 days a week even if it is for only a couple hours a day. Once that’s all said and done I return home, to become “Mom” again and I do everything for my kids. When I’m not doing that my mom steps up and goes above and beyond to take care of them, doing way more then a grandma should even be doing. I’m so grateful.
I don’t claim to be the most hardworking person out there and I do know that there are plenty of hard working parents that work all day every day then return home to care for their child(ren). I just personally have hit a wall of frustration, common to most people out there. I want to stay home with my kids but because of the way my cards have been dealt, I can’t do that. I work a shift that’s dependent on someone watching my children, and I’m dependent on someone driving me to and from work, simply because I didn’t get my license sooner and the cost of a cab would be more then I’m paid. I spend time away from my kids to barely make anything, then when I come home it’s time for them to go to sleep.I’m in a never-ending circle, when I’m not with my kids I am at work, and when I’m at work I’m not with my kids. There’s no stretching of time or money, everything that I have I give to my kids.
NOTE:
I’m not looking for sympathy, I am very well aware that there are plenty of people out in the world that are in my similar situation if not worse. I am simply venting out my frustration.
I’m not looking for sympathy, I am very well aware that there are plenty of people out in the world that are in my similar situation if not worse. I am simply venting out my frustration.
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