Every single day of my life I struggle with my addiction, it all started when I was seventeen. I think about my addiction every single day, I need my addiction to survive. You won’t see that I’m an addict by markings on my skin, or the smell of a smoke. I don’t need to hide my addiction when you come over to my house, and who I am will not change while I’m under the influence. I can get my drug just about anywhere, at the gas station, at the grocery store, at any local restaurant. I can and probably have consumed my drug in front of you, you wouldn’t even think twice about it. My addiction is not a craving, it’s something I can’t live without. I have an addiction to food. I know I’m not the only one struggling with this monster, but I feel like I’m completely alone.
When I was growing up I was taught that when we want to celebrate something, we should go out for a meal or have a big meal at home to celebrate. The same thing applies if you are grieving, or something bad has happened to you or someone you know. I was taught and told that you must finish everything on your plate, because you don’t want to waste food. Especially if you are over at someones house, it’s rude if you don’t finish everything on your plate. No one put a gun to my head, but I listened and followed these rules my entire childhood. I grew up respecting my parents, and I never had a problem with food.
That is until I turned seventeen, that’s when I started abusing food. Using it to comfort me when I was sad, and using it to celebrate when I was happy or consuming it even when I’m bored. When I’m having a bad day I eat, it’s like a drug the moment the food touches my lips I feel a rush of relief. It’s a daily struggle for me, and it’s something I can’t escape because the human body needs food to survive. I know it’s something I’ll have to deal with my whole life, and I’m coming to terms with that. I just need to take life one day at a time, and try to do the best I can. I know now, that I am not alone.
Do you struggle with a food addiction?